A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for two days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any? There was this female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?
Q: How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but all the others gathered around will complain that that's not the way Earl Scruggs would have done it. Q: How can you tell the stage you're playing on is level? A: The banjo player is drooling out of both sides of his mouth. Q: What is the difference between a adjacency list java and an anchor?
A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard. Q: Why do so many fishermen own banjos? A: They make great anchors! Q: Why did the Boy Scout take up the banjo? A: They make good paddles. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw? A: A chain saw has a dynamic range. A: You can turn off a chainsaw. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw? A: One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird.
Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a Harley-Davidson motorcycle? A: You can tune a Harley. Q: What is the difference more The grizzled old sea captain was quizzing a young, tyro naval student.
Where in the world are you getting all these anchors?Sign up Log in. Jokes by Kidscasts. By Jokeskidscasts. Kids telling kids joke! Join Matthew and Kaitlyn telling each other jokes and trying tongue twisters.
Listen on. Where to listen.Top Lame Jokes by Manish Paul at HT Most Stylsh 2017
Braiding hair and droids. Kaitlyn and Matthew are telling jokes and a riddle. They would love to hear your. Go to kidscasts. Kids have lost their minds!!!! The snipe at each other!!! Maybe you will find their arguing funny. What is Mt. Jokes while in quarantine. Elephants and Dogs! Kaitlyn age 9 and Matthew age 11 share some funny jokes.
Go to www. We would love to play them on air! Or e-mail them to info kidscasts. Jokes and a Riddle. Kaitlyn and Matthew are stuck in quarantine.
They tell a few jokes. Send us yours! You can hear your jokes on their podcast! Agna calls in with really funny jokes. Kaitlyn and Matthew are still in quarantine.Keep everyone entertained with our updated compilation of the best nautical jokes around. I never saw anybody drink that fast. This establishment has a necktie policy, and you are not wearing one. That should be OK. After some time, the sailor comes out with a pair of jumper cables. A doctor, a dentist and a lawyer were in a boat together when a wave came along and washed them all overboard.
Unable to get back into the boat, they decided two would hold on to the boat and the third would swim to shore for help. A woman was nearing the end of her tether — every night her husband was snored so loudly that it kept her awake.
She decided to call the family doctor to see if there was anything that could be done to relieve her nightly suffering. Two people are out sailing when suddenly a hand appears in the sea.
News Anchor Jokes
An old sea captain was sitting on a bench near the wharf when a young man walked up and sat down. The young man had spiked hair and each spike was a different colour … green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. I was just wondering if you were my son! How on earth did you manage it without ever spilling a drop?
So, the pair set out from shore in a rowboat with the body. So they rowed out another fifty yards, and the same sailor jumped out again to find the water reached his chin. A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean.
The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show:. One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself adrift on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day, then another, and another.
From inflatable SUPs to engraved compasses we have plenty of gift ideas for boaters this Christmas. From nautically themed drinks to winter warmers and summer coolers, these delicious cocktails are perfect for any occasion, whether you're….
TAGS: boat jokes pirates sailors. Barcode Navy Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?Sign up Log in. Dad Jokes Daily. By Sammy Davies. A daily source of the most cringe worthy comedy. Check back each day for another dad joke to share with your family, colleagues, neighbours, team mates or just to enjoy yourself Listen on.
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How much does a pirate pay for corn? Hit in the head with a soda can. Did you hear about the guy who was hit in the head with a soda can? Nobel Prize. A Year as a Vegetarian. I just spent a year as a vegetarian Dogs Chasing People On Bikes. The Police called to tell me my dogs were chasing people on bikes Fire Pit.
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Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels! What's a pirate's favorite letter? How much did the pirate pay for his piercings? A buck-an-ear! Why do young pirates always fail when saying the alphabet in kindergarten? Because their fathers insist that there are seven Cs!!!! What takes a pirate 30 minutes but only lasts for 2?
Why is pirating addictive? They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked! How does a pirate get his mast up? He uses a wench! What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck! What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say? How does a pirate tell his wench he wants to have sex? Drop yer sails and prepare t' be boarded!
DID YOU READ
This is the actual transcript of a radio conversation between a British Navy ship and the Irish Coastguard, off the coast of Kerry:. Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south, to avoid collision.
Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north, to avoid collision. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south ' to avoid collision. This is the Captain of a British Navy Ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. I say again, you will have to divert YOUR course. Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain. This captain was very successful at what he did; for years he guided merchant ships all over the world.
Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best of him. He was admired by his crew and fellow captains. However, there was one thing different about this captain. Every morning he went through a strange ritual.
Click here for more information. My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor. More on this after the break. Job interview for a TV news anchor At a job interview for a TV news anchor an applicant seems very qualified and well suited for the job. But the recruiters notice an uncontrolled wink in the man's right eye.
They tell him that he'd be great for the job if it wasn't for the frequent winking, which probably won't go down well with the The black one" Shepherd: "Grass" Anchor: "And the white one? This joke may contain profanity. A US Navy cruiser is anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave.
I would like you to send four well-m Grandpa and Grandson go fishing Grampa decides to take his grandson fishing. They put the boat in the water. Row the boat out a little ways.
Dad Jokes Daily
Grandson casts his line and then once grandpa gets the anchor in he casts his line leans back and opens a beer. This is their conversation. News anchors should really be careful these days Why did the electrician become a news anchor? He's always had a knack for current events. Why did the ship drift off. It's anchor was aweigh. Anchor: what do you feed your goats?
Farmer: black one or white one? Anchor: white one Farmer: grass. Anchor: and black one?? Farmer: i give her grass too? Anchor: where do they sleep? Farmer: which one, black or white? A new recruit in the Navy was being put through the paces by an experienced captain. A man goes to audition for an anchor position at a local tv station A man goes to the television station auditioning for an anchor position.
He sits down in front of the camera and begins, soon it is obvious that he has a terrible stutter, and hisleft eye continuously winks.No one understands or appreciates teacher jokes and humor quite like teachers.
Laughter is a great medicine, and we hope these bring you some. And over there we have the museum of overhead projectors, film strips, and books on tape. Make a poster like this to hang up in your classroom.
Remember to show your work! What are your favorite teacher jokes? I'm a freelance writer and mom to two usually awesome kiddos. Raised by a teacher and married to a principal, all things education have a special place in my heart. You must be logged in to post a comment. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website.
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It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. Get out your journals. Hang in there! Modeling is an important part of teaching. Modern grammar lesson. Remember when hashtag meant number or pounds? Posted by Elizabeth Russell I'm a freelance writer and mom to two usually awesome kiddos. All Posts. Leave a reply Cancel reply You must be logged in to post a comment.